Ah yes, Friday in the city. That special moment in the week when a young man’s thoughts turn to penises. Lord knows there be no shortage of erections looking to bump uglies cum the weekend in the homo-positive hamlet of Montreal.
Given that many of these erections are from out of town, we thought it prudent to provide a short guide to a few choice locations where one can find a nice one to tug on without actually having to waste time engaging in any significant courtship-type nonsense with its owner.
To help us in this crucially important endeavor we turned to our friend and ace cocksmith Chris Mackinnon, a stud who knows his cruising locations like nobody’s business, having been gnawing down on strangers in the great outdoors for more years than he’d probably like to remember. So, with no further adieu, here is one very big homo’s cruising advice to all you boner-sporting tourists out there and to the locals who love you – though not quite enough to fuck you at home.
St-Laurent at Ste-Catherine
Best in the afternoons when the crack addicts are all out in the sun workin’/stealin’ and not in the peep shows offering dry-mouthed blowjobs for two bucks. But be careful – the theatre area inside can be way scary: “Ouch, was that a syringe I just sat on?”
Very early weekend mornings, say between 5 a.m. and 6:30 a.m. are quite interesting around here also, but only if you’re into disillusioned junkie boys (some of them are very cute though) desperately conveying a basic need for some money and your cock that they’ll suck to get it.
Ste-Catherine W. at de la Montagne
This place is best late at night when you get all these straight Crescent Street boys who couldn’t get laid opting to come in here for a better blow job anyway. Trust me, it can get very hot! And at noon hour you can usually find businessmen at this location who will definitely drop their pants and/or numb their knees for some non-wifey-wife lunch.
OUT IN NATURE
Great for crotch watching on any nice summer day, and great for crotch gobbling as soon as the sun goes down. The corner of Sherbrooke and Amherst is where everyone goes because of the big trees you can hide behind so as not to be seen from the street. Lafontaine Park has been a prime homo meeting ground for as long as anyone can remember. A safe bet to be sure.
Ooh, how I long for the good ol’ days gone by. Nowadays, if you’re planning on heading up here for sex, you’d best bring up a king can of beer, a joint and a bag of nuts for the squirrels.
I still know a few people who come here sometimes, but it’s nothing like the cruising Eden it used to be. Even at dusk, once the most popular time of day for seed-sowing on the mountain, as often as not lately it’s no better than a dry hump against a strong wind. I know “patience is a virtue,” and “persist and you shall suckseed,” but personally, I just don’t feel like waiting around for hours to see if maybe something tasty will pass by.
Nevertheless, it’s generally worth checking out if you’re in the neighborhood and feeling horny. Walk up Mont-Royal Avenue to Camillien-Houde – you know that street that goes over the entire mountain, with the lookout halfway up it? That’s the one you want. Go up it just a little ways and when you come up to the big cement median, turn left into the woods. If anything is happening on Mount Royal, this is where it’s going to be.
Viger Park (Amherst and Viger)
Dodge the cop ‘n’ gobble some cock is the name of the game here… ooh, the excitement of a criminal record. Your best bet is under and around the bridge directly south of the park.
Just hang around outside The Circus or the Stereo – it’s like fishing in a barrel. What’s more, the Village’s afterhours clubs attract a mixed crowd and can be great for hot, anonymous “the-girlfriend-out-on-the-dancefloor-doesn’t-know” kind of sex with straight boys.
Except with all those chemical-induced gnawing jaws runnin’ around, you always run the risk that your boy is going to have an ol’ mandible “E” spasm right in the middle of giving you some good ol’ head. Believe me, don’t think it’s never happened. Ouch!
West of the Village, the recently renovated Sauna 456 (456 de la Gauchetière W.) is without a doubt the place for glory holes, discreet heteros and the city’s finest porno films. I find that Village bath houses tend to be filled with way too many “precious” types – lots of looking and not that much touching – and not nearly enough butch!
The porn in any bath house is usually quite good though, as well it better be if you’re paying double-digits just to sit and jerk off. If queens sitting around smelling pretty is your cup of tea, however, then by all means stick to the bath houses in the Village.
A really good urinal I’ll sometimes go to is in the basement of the Administration building at McGill University. I think queers have been cruising here since time immemorial, particularly during the safer hours of day when most of the students are in class. Circle jerks around the urinal seem to be the most popular activity here.
Another one I really like is at Central Station. It’s not such a great place for sex, but the volume of cock you can get a good glimpse at just can’t be beat – no pun intended. We all know that pretty well any unshielded public urinal is a potential place to find action, but this one is my personal favorite – for looking, at least.
Finally, wherever you go, and whatever you do, be safe, and have lots of fun. But please, pick up your used condom, its wrapper and your spermy Kleenex when you’re done. You don’t wanna ruin it for everyone else now, do you? Remember, a cop can follow the scent of a used condom and a Kleenex like any other truffle-rootin’ pig!
Hi! Thx for your article. Can you give more information about the mount-Royal park ?
The ciment ? I don’t find it ! 🙂
Il a des place ds homa ? Marché Maisonneuve ? Près de la
I am gay, and this article while supposed to be « cool » is in fact very disturbing. I just want to make cleat that not all homosexuals are like this: i.e. looking for sex in strange places. (maybe this a generational thing, older gays used to see themselves as worthless things because of general society’s prejudices, and therefore not self-respecting themselves).
So if you are heterosexual and find this article disturbing, know that you are not alone! I am gay, and I find it also disturbing… in fact I find the values propagated by this article disgusting to be honest.
This is not « cool ». Some left-wing heterosexuals think that weird gay behaviour is « normal and cool » gay behaviour, while it is not.
In our community, there are many people that have to struggle with AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases, etc. The are many people who still struggle to find an identity for themselves in a world that lacks truly positive and respectful homosexual models.
This article is not « cool », and while its author is probably very emotionally involved in gay rights (for example, gay rights in Russia), he does nothing really do any positive things to promote a balanced and healthy lifestyle for the community.
To the manager of this blog, again there is NOTHING cool about this article, this is NOT the whole of the homosexual community, just fringe and weird people (what would YOU left-wingers think of a straight man wanking at women in toilets… eh you feminist bunch!).
This article is NOT COOL, and NOT PRO-GAY. By promoting self-disrespect towards our community and perpetuating an unhealthy lifestyle, you are in fact promoting the most insiduous of HOMOPHOBIA.
And if you are gay, and read this article, know that you can lead a respectful life: stable, happy, loving. Aim for the best! we have a virtue in our love, it must be linked to the quest for excellency, virtue, beauty (you don’t have to be puritinistic, pleasure is a good thing, but it must be well used, mastered, in a sense).
A life of endless and aimless wander, in loneliness, in sadness is not what a normal human (what you are) is looking for. Be a honest man, look for an honest man, strive for the best, make this goal you common goal, have pleasure in a stable relationship and your life will be much more meaningful. We cannot have children of our own, but this quest for excellence is what should bind us. This article is rubbish, the author’s values are rubbish, the previous comments are rubbish… but you can be fabulous?… No, you can be excellent! You are a man, you know! Live the good life! 🙂
I couldn’t agree more. Excellent comment.
aimerais connais endroit a montreal ,lasalle verdun lachine ou on peux allersucer un mec soit parc ,cinema toilette ou i y a glory merci
I’m afraid the air on your high horse may be impairing your judgement, causing confusion, abysmal grammar & sentence structure. Some of the symptoms are pontificating virtues and passing judgement on others because you have somehow decided that you are the moral barometer for the gay community. I’m especially fascinated in your profound knowledge of how older gays see themselves, your thesis on ” Left wing heterosexual abstract gay behaviour acceptance ” must be top notch.
The “self-disrespect towards our community” comment ( I can’t, there’s already so much there but I’ll forgive your stupidity and just give you some advice – don’t use all your big words all at once. You may think that it makes you sound intelligent, it doesn’t ) is perhaps your perception.
You may have, in your infinite wisdom determined that ” these people” are fringe or weird and somehow you’ve equated what you describe as respectful, stable and happy as your ideal or marker for what gay men should aspire to.
Your incoherent statements and awful grammar are only surpassed by your unbelievable ignorance. Gay, straight, black, red, vegetarian, all come in different shapes, sizes, colours, flavours and kinks. If you can’t find it in your limited brain capacity to embrace or celebrate it, then don’t trash it, it makes you sound like a frustrated queen, who really doesn’t get laid, ever, and is just upset because you’re not bold enough to get it on in the bushes after dark. Get the fuck over yourself!
Luc, poor thing, you are the one who is not cool. Live your life the way you want and let others live there’s! Your message is full of jugements. Hope you will find peace with yourself one day!!
I’m with Luc. Thank you for sharing your refreshing and normal viewpoint. Dare Luc shed any light regarding the truth surrounding the liberal “gray” area (no judgments whatsoever) when it comes to gays and morality. The personal attacks he will receive are inevitable by anonymous gays cruising for sex. God forbid Luc mentions anything about your filthy gay “saunuas.” Now that is a stain on the community.
Hello there my name is Peter and I’m interested in sucking some big cock and I don’t know where to go help me out please.
I am a fun loving, gainfully employed, healthy, fit, well-educated homo visiting Montreal this summer and loved this article.
I don’t sit around reading parenting blogs and then spew hate on the Tiger moms, frankly I could care less. Much less (heaven forbid) on a gay parenting blog. It’s not my thing, so I don’t hang there.
Seeming all “mightier than thou” is not going to change a thing except spawn more negative energy, something I am not sure is missing from the world.
My only wish about this article would be to have more info about the first two peep shows. Very interesting scene.
Thank you very much for info is high value on special for tourists came from Europe, totally no agree with LUC , sound like a depressed or frustrated housewife may unable able find some fun , the life is too short enjoy it and LUC your sermon to the church sound pathetic. Live and leave other enjoy , thanks to the author